Planning a Wedding...Together

You're marrying the man you love. He adores you and the two of you get along in every way. For that very reason, you figured planning your wedding together would be a piece of cake. But lo and behold, it's not. The two of you are fighting more than ever and can't seem to agree on the wedding day details. What's up?

For starters, try not to be alarmed. Becoming engaged and planning a wedding is highly emotional. And when emotions run high, so do stress levels. This might be the first big "test," on working together to achieve a common goal, in your relationship. And how you weather it could predict the success of future challenges you face as a couple. But don't let that scare or stress you out more. Start by taking a step back. Why are you and your fiancé getting married in the first place? Tap into the feelings and emotions that brought the two of you to the decision to get engaged. If you have a solid relationship built on mutual love and respect and share the same goals, then there's a strong foundation for your new life together. This will make it easier to get through difficult situations.

Next, learn flexibility. No matter how perfect you and your fiancé are for each other, no two people are exactly alike and you may have different opinions on wedding related matters. That means both of you must learn to compromise for the sake of each other and the wedding. Decide together what part of the wedding day details matters most to each of you and give each other the reins in that department. This takes a great deal of trust, another key component in all good relationships. If both of you like to be in control, find ways to learn to be more flexible or get outside help, if necessary.

Third, talk about it. Before you start planning your wedding, review what it is you love about each other and why you are so happy to be getting married. Then discuss how the two of you will fit wedding planning into your busy schedules. Always show respect and remember to listen. Make sure you both have a chance to communicate your ideas and concerns. If the two of you continue having trouble planning your wedding together, you may want to consult an event planner to help with the details or a counselor to help with the challenge your relationship faces.

Finally, take breaks from wedding planning. Learn to unwind together and individually. A little stress is good. It helps you move forward and get things done. Too much stress, on the other hand, is draining and unhealthy. Finding balance amid all your responsibilities is important in maintaining your health and relationship. After all, your love for each other is what this wedding day is all about.