Thursday, September 20, 2012

Responding vs. Reacting

When someone tells you something you'd rather not hear or gives you upsetting news, it's a good idea to take a step back and pause before you reply.   Taking a minute to collect your thoughts can mean the difference between maintaining your peace of mind or escalating an adverse situation. While it's good practice to train yourself to do this in all situations, it's definitely something you will want to do as you prepare for your wedding.   Between the wedding vendors, friends, or family members, someone is bound to tick you off.  When people are upset and angry about something, they tend to react to the situation rather than respond in a strong but civil manner.  These reactions trigger more negative reactions from the other party and people can end up in a full scale war of words.  Needless to say, in most cases this kind of escalation serves no purpose and nothing is accomplished.
Instead, if a friend makes a rude comment or a vendor doesn't follow through with your wedding request, think a moment about how you can respond in manner that shows how you feel but doesn't allow you to lose control.  Speaking what is on your mind fairly and confidently keeps you in control of the situation.  The other party can better hear what you are saying and is more likely to understand your needs.  It's not easy to get to this point and in some situations, you may need a day or two to collect your thoughts before you can respond.  If it works out right, you get what you want without losing your cool.  Now that's a confident bride!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

The Power of Our Thoughts

So much has been written about the power of positive thinking.  It is such a simple concept, yet many times it's hard to put into practice.  Worries and fears can seep into our consciousness and take us further away from positivity and deprive us of peace of mind. Take a moment to think of the following scenario.  You are going about your day in a good mood and had some great meetings with a couple of your wedding vendors.  Everything seems to be running smoothly.  Later that afternoon, you receive a phone call from your future mother-in-law, who tells you she is really not happy with your choice of wedding colors and asks if  she can wear something else.  Viola! A negative seed was planted.  So now, your mood may change from happy and excited to angry and hurt. You ask yourself, "how could she not like my colors and how could she have the audacity to ask if she can wear something else?  And why is she always so critical? How will we ever get along?"  In one quick minute, your positive thinking can be replaced with a barrage of negativity.
Your thoughts are powerful; so you need to learn to protect them.  Put on an invisible coat of armor, so that negative thoughts can bounce off.  Don't let them inside if you don't want it to control you.  Let positive thinking and thoughts flow freely through your mind to counterattack.  It's not an easy battle to be won, but the more practice, we all have, the better we become at deflecting unconstructive thoughts.  And the more we change our thoughts to being positive, the better we feel regardless of the circumstance.  As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."