Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Engagement and Emotions

He popped the question, you said yes, the ring is on your finger, and you feel a flurry of emotions. You're happy, overwhelmed, excited, and more all at the same time. Take a deep breath. Having multiple feelings at once is perfectly normal for such a special moment in your life. Beginning a new life with the person you love lends to feelings of happiness and excitement, while the wedding planning road ahead can create anxiety and stress. So having opposite feelings can also be natural.
As a bride-to-be, each of you will feel something totally different, depending on your personality, relationship with your significant other, your background and personal history, as well as outside factors. You also may not feel "fireworks" once you're engaged and that's okay too. You may tend to think you should feel one way or another based on other engaged people you know or how it's portrayed in the movies. But you never truly know what another bride might be feeling on the inside and the movies are, well...just that, movies. If the music cues in your head and you do have that magical movie moment, great! Cherish it forever. If you don't, don't consider your engagement or relationship substandard. You simply have a different way of feeling your emotions. Neither way is better than the other. It just is. Knowing yourself and how you deal with life and milestone events will help you understand your emotions better and happily accept them.

Monday, September 16, 2013

To Have or Have Not

Monday Musings: Have you and your partner discussed having children? You might be thinking, "I just got engaged, why do I need to be thinking of children?" The truth is you don't, as long as you and your fiance have discussed what your family life will look like once you are married. There are many components to marriage and one of them is whether or not to add to the family tree. This is one conversation where you both need to be on the same page. If you want children and your partner doesn't (or vice versa), don't think that you will be able to convince him later on to change his mind. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if you don't agree on this subject, or at least accept your mutual decision, whatever that may be. In your discussion, also talk about how many kids you're thinking, what your approach to disciplining is, and in general how you want to raise them. As long as you and your future husband have a clear picture of what your family life will look like and an idea of how you plan on getting there, you can save the finer details for a later date and enjoy the time you have with each other now.

Thursday, September 12, 2013


Okay. So you're moving ahead with your wedding preparations and you've chosen some wonderful gal pals to be your bridesmaids. You love them all and are so happy they can be a part of your wedding. The problem is they don't all seem to get along with each other. Why can't they just be best of friends like you are with each of them?
The short answer is, of course, not everyone is always going to get along. Ideally, you have chosen those women in your life who will make your day more special and meaningful. That is a key point to remember. Selecting bridesmaids can be fun yet challenging. After all, sometimes brides feel obligated to have family members or others who wouldn't necessarily be a first choice. Consider all your options and the potential outcomes and then choose wisely. There is no right or wrong here. Nor is there a magic number of bridesmaids you have to have. Ultimately, your decision comes through thought and insight and what feels right to you.
In addition to the selection process, understand that your bridesmaids don't have to be best friends with each other and that it isn't your job to try to make it so.  In fact, in most instances it's best to stay outside of any drama that may unfold among your bridesmaids. Assuming they are all adults and it doesn't directly affect you, allow them to work out any issues on their own. Try not to get caught up in any negative talk or emotions that may surface either. Your bridesmaids are there to support you and keep you happy and having fun. Keeping that in the forefront of your mind and reminding them every so often why you chose them, will help keep everybody moving in the right direction.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Who Does What Once You're Married

Have you and your groom decided who will take on what responsibilities in the home once you are married? You work. Your fiance works. You both have commitments to various social and recreational activities. So who's doing the laundry? Okay, it may sound tedious, but it's a good idea to have a conversation about household duties ahead of time so both of you know what to expect. Is your fiance happy to pitch in and help with the cleaning, does he expect you to take care of that, or do you plan on hiring someone to clean for you? Your workday is busy and it doesn't end with the 5 o'clock whistle. Having a routine in place as to which one of you will do what around the house will give you a healthier work-life balance. Take into consideration grocery shopping, cooking, housecleaning, laundry, dish-washing, yard-work, bill paying, automotive care, etc. Narrowing these and others into smaller tasks and choosing those you enjoy or prefer will make things easier. Also do some work together. Sharing the load will add to your appreciation of each other.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Turning a New Leaf

There comes a time in one's life when one decides to start over, turn a new leaf, or make some big changes. With the birth of our second daughter in May, I decided it was time to give a new look to the Bridal Balance blog. I wanted to make it more personal and share more clearly with brides how they can reduce stress, stay focused, and enjoy their engagement. I hope we accomplished that with this new site and welcome your feedback.
As a bride, you are beginning a new chapter in your life, as well. This might be an ideal time for you to kick a bad habit, move forward with a new resolution to improve yourself, or offer forgiveness. Whatever positive change you make, there is a tremendous healing effect that goes along with it. Once you break away from the old and begin anew, you feel more energized and motivated to live out the life you visualize. What better way to start off your marriage than with a clean slate and a positive, future focused approach? I challenge you to decide today what you can do to improve your life or feel happier and then take the first step.