Setting the Date

It's the day you've longed for since before you can remember. It will be one of the most memorable occasions you celebrate. And now it's time to choose the perfect date for your wedding. If only it were that simple. At first glance, it might seem easy. Select the day that works best for you and your fiance, right? Think again. Your parents, siblings, future in-laws, extended family, friends and others will give you their input too. And what once was the best day ends up being anything but, because your Aunt Susie will be on a cruise, your future brother-in-law has another wedding, and your best friend is having a baby then. You get the idea.

Choosing a wedding date can be challenging, once you check in with everybody. So know right from the start that you cannot please everybody all of the time. Trying to will make you a very unhappy bride. There are bound to be people who wish you chose a different date or who won't be able to make it. Your job is to make sure the people who absolutely have to be there (i.e., they are in your wedding party, you couldn't imagine your wedding without, etc.), can be there.  Once you and your fiance pick a date, run it by your "must have guest list." If you're fortunate, there will be no conflicts of interest and you'll be good to go. If not, you may have to look at alternate dates and choose a runner up.

The hardest part ends up being communicating your choice date with an unhappy guest. Be honest, but empathetic. Inform them how you understand how disappointed they are, but the date you chose worked best for your wedding for XYZ reasons. You can also mention how you will miss having them there, but hope to be able to celebrate with them on future occasions. You might ask, if it's possible they make even part of the ceremony or reception. Whatever their response, at some point you need to let it go. Don't let guilt get in the way and bring you down. Once you've decided on a date, stick with it and move forward with planning your wedding.