Honesty Speaking

Your mother hands you her wedding gown and says she would love for you to wear it down the aisle. She’s been saving it for this very day. You think, it’s a nice gesture, but so out of style! How do you be honest without making her feel bad?

“Honesty is the best policy,” or is it? Honesty is the ability to be frank with others and yourself. Being honest in a gentle, friendly manner works best. So you let your mother know you appreciate her offer and that the gown was beautiful on her. You, on the other hand, have a different taste and picture wearing a dress that’s XYZ. Just as she may have enjoyed choosing her dress, you want to have the same experience. Invite her along to share in these special moments. This is your wedding and you want to make decisions you are happy with. It’s also a joyous time so you don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings either. The best way to be honest is to relay information face to face. Emails or phone conversations can make it harder to get your message across. It can also lead to misinterpretation. When you talk to someone in person, you can see body language and emotions and tweak your conversation as you go. The opposite is also true. The other party gets to see your feelings and you can show them that their ideas are important to you, but may not suit your wishes at this time.

Being honest with yourself also means not giving into other people’s wishes just because you don’t want them to feel bad. Unless you see a greater advantage in sacrificing your own needs for someone else’s, don’t cheat yourself out of happiness. That means having the courage to let your florist know you were looking for something different if you’re not happy with the trial centerpieces. Or finding a new hair stylist if yours insists you’ll be happier wearing your hair down, when you have always dreamed of wearing it up. It’s not always easy being honest with someone else or yourself, especially if you’re thinking the other person is the expert so he’s probably right. Usually there is no right or wrong in these cases. It’s a matter of opinion. Find a way to work together to achieve a viable solution for all sides through honesty and integrity. And make sure to check in with yourself too and ask if this is what you honestly want.