Guest Blogger- Rev. Phyllis Ann Min: Choosing an Officiant that Fits You

Our guest blogger today is Rev. Phyllis Ann Min, a non-denominational wedding officiant in Richmond, VA and serving the surrounding areas.

So you don’t belong to a church or have a clergy friend who can perform your ceremony… so who will do the honor?  Who will be a good match with your style, beliefs, or traditions and then be able to enhance your ceremony with their eloquent delivery?  Seems a little detective work is in order.

Choosing an officiant is a personal choice.  It does not need to be complicated if you know what you want in an officiant.  This person is participating with you at a very memorable time in your life and needs to be someone you feel comfortable with and connect with.  That is the bottom line!

There are several other features to assist your decision-making as to whom officiates.  It does not matter what size or type of ceremony you are planning: casual, themed, unorthodox, classic or traditional, indoors or out in nature. Your officiant is the key person who is to create a wonderful feeling and delivery of your meaningful ceremony.  If possible, interview a few officiants in person.  Meanwhile, examine what is important to you while considering these helpful key questions:

• Do you feel comfortable with her/him in your initial meeting?  Let your intuition (gut feeling) guide you.

• Does the officiant show interest in learning about you, who you are, and have a friendly nature?  Do they share things about themselves so you can see them as a person? Do you feel relaxed with them?  Are they a good listener?

• Do you enjoy this person who will be performing your ceremony?  Do you like their humor?  Wit? Calmness?  Smile?

• Is the officiant interested in meeting your parents/family? (It is proper for the officiant to be introduced to your parents at the rehearsal, especially if they never met.)  Can they interact well and socialize with the parents, family members, and friends? Is this officiator understanding and sensitive when it comes to religious customs and family issues?

• Will you have some freedom or input in creating your ceremony with this officiant?  If you want something unique or non-traditional in your ceremony, can that officiant be adaptive, creative, and even helpful to you in expressing those ideas?

• Will they let you write your own vows?  Include your favorite prayer or readings?  If personalizing the ceremony, will they offer choices/ideas of various elements for consideration to enrich your ceremony? Can you comfortably discuss your preference for a secular or non-secular ceremony?

• Do they require pre-marital counseling?  If so, how do they work with couples to establish compatibility and self-awareness of one‘s behavior on pertinent issues for a successful marriage?

• Does the officiant give you a sense of confidence in their knowledge and abilities in all aspects relating to the ceremony?  Do they demonstrate professionalism and sincerity?  Are they well organized and cover details?  Do you like their overall presentation?  Are they articulate?  Do they communicate well with you and others? Do you want a person who is experienced and can easily handle last minute changes?

• Do they conduct the rehearsal efficiently in a relaxed, orderly manner? Are they clear on instructions or suggestions to make the rehearsal flow easily?

• Does the officiant work well with musicians/DJ, photographers, and wedding planners?  Can the officiant offer such referrals if asked?

• Does the officiant have a back-up in case of emergency?

• Does the officiant have a sense of spirituality or sacredness that you respect?

Answering these questions will help you understand the qualities you are looking for in an officiant. And knowing what’s important to you, be it someone who exudes a feeling of enthusiasm, love, and joy or someone you feel a heart to heart connection with, will help you choose the one who will be standing in front of you on your wedding day. Best wishes!

For more information on Rev. Phyllis Ann Min, you may contact her by phone at (804) 353-9127 or by email at phylliswithjoy@aol.com. You can also visit her website www.phylliswithjoy.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/weddingswithrevphyllis