It's Always Happily Ever After, Right?

You love your husband, being married, and sharing your life together. It feels like a fairy tale, until one day you're ready to scream! Maybe it's something he said or did or didn't say or didn't do, but you've had it. It was supposed to always be happily ever after, wasn't it?

Join the hopeless romantic club. Yes, it is happily ever after or more aptly "almost" always happily ever after. Life is full of ups and downs and to think marriage is otherwise is misleading. Everybody make mistakes. You respond too quickly, forget to listen, or ignore feelings. To sum it up you're human. And when your spouse blunders, you're bound to get upset.

The very first thing you need to do when you start to get angry at something he did or said is to take a break. Better than fly off the handle, get out and get some air. This is probably the hardest step, since it's human nature to react if triggered. But it's also the most effective way to help you calm down and get your feelings in check. It's always best to approach an uncomfortable situation with a level head. You can rant and rave alone in the car, if you must, to get it off your chest. But somehow find a way to get your emotions together before you talk it out with your spouse.

Once you feel in control and have a good idea of how to communicate your feelings, ask to have a little talk. Express yourself in non-judgmental ways and how whatever occurred made you feel. Wait for his response. Try not to get defensive. It rarely helps. Discuss ways you might be able to handle a similar situation in the future. Remember to listen to his side too. To minimize uncomfortable situations and unhappy moments you'll both have to work on yourselves and remember what you each need in the relationship. The more you make his emotional needs a priority, the more likely he'll respond in kind.

Will this be a one time occurrence? Probably not. But with practice, you'll learn to control your emotions better and to communicate more effectively. Hopefully, it will also make each of you more aware of where your weaknesses lie. And once you're aware, you'll be able to work on it and bring your relationship to a whole new level of happiness.