Some Things Shouldn't Change ...When You Get Married

Marriage is a huge step. As you enter into a new chapter in your life, you'll find it changes you in some ways and your lifestyle in others. But just because you're married doesn't mean you have to give up some of the things you love. In fact, continuing to participate in some of the activities you did as a single woman, even if it's without your partner, may help strengthen your marriage. Consider these ways to keep yourself happily married and feeling good about yourself at the same time:

For starters, keep up hobbies or activities you enjoy, even if you're husband doesn't. If prior to marriage, you enjoyed biking, scrapbooking, volunteering or some other hobby, keep up with it. Doing what you enjoy, makes you feel confident and happier. Your husband may have his hobbies that he needs to participate in too. By mutually agreeing to support each other's activities, you strengthen yourself and your relationship.

Next, have your girl time out. Whether it's once a week or once a month, getting together with other gals is important. Let's face it, men don't always get women; to have a supportive girlfriend network is a good way to stay in tuned with your emotional side and talk about things you might not discuss with your hubby. You'll likely have those "aha" moments and come to realize that you're not alone facing certain issues. That fact alone makes ladies night out so helpful. One caveat: be careful what you say, as words usually get around.

Third, continue your day job. If you work outside the home and enjoy doing it, keep at it. Working can build confidence and a sense of accomplishment. It can also make you feel more financially sound. It's a great feeling of satisfaction when you earn money and hopefully, have a little spending cash for yourself at the end of the month.

Finally, date nights out with your husband. Consider it like a pre-marriage date. That means not talking about responsibilities, finances, family, or other household roles you generally discuss on a daily basis. Go out and have fun. Enjoy each other's company, learn new things together, or ask questions you haven't thought about before. The purpose of these dates is to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually together. When you constantly talk about what needs to get done and other every day details, marriage can start to feel like a job. There is a time for everything. Yes, you need to know who's paying the mortgage or picking up the dry cleaning, but save your dates for relationship building conversations and activities.

It's All About the Bride...or is it?

Now that you're engaged you'll be hearing a lot about how the wedding is your special day and it's all about you as the bride. But is it really? Lately, I've been getting some questions about that attitude, as well as remarks that making the wedding all about the bride is quite selfish. Like most things in life, there is no simple response to such chatter.

Weddings are a wonderfully joyous occasion for everybody. The bride is generally the center of attention on the day itself and has been for decades. Everyone, groom included, can't wait to catch a glimpse of you, the bride. They want to see not only your beauty, but the radiance about you as you prepare to wed. And while it is your time to shine, the wedding day is always about the union of two people and the love you share and commit to for a lifetime.

So why the "it's all about you" talk? For starters, brides are usually the ones taking care of much of the wedding planning details. And since you are making many of the decisions, it tends to become about things you wish for at the wedding. Nowadays more grooms are helping with wedding preparations too, so it may become more evident that the day is about him too (which, of course, it always has been). A wedding is also a once in a lifetime event, so it makes sense that the day be about the happy couple, your wishes, and dreams.

What about the family, friends, and guests? Many of them have been waiting for your wedding day too. Don't they have some say as to how you celebrate? Here is where the disagreement might creep in. How much say others have in your wedding planning depends on your situation. Relationship, financial, geographic and other factors are important to weigh when making decisions. But keep in mind, that just because you have a unique vision for your wedding day, doesn't mean you are being selfish. How you express yourself, your attitudes and actions will reflect your character, hopefully in the best light. There are always ways to incorporate important traditions or requests of others, while keeping your wedding day vision alive. But always show respect, even when you disagree. In the end, you and your groom deserve to have a special day where your love will be celebrated, regardless of all the details.