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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Keeping Family Drama at Bay

Everybody has an emotional history with their family members. It's no different for the bride. Ideally you get along with the majority of your relatives, but occasionally there is someone in the family who gets under your skin. And even if you get along swell with everyone, maybe there is tension between other family members. So what do you do to keep the family on their best behavior on your big day?
Start by discussing your hopes for a happy and peaceful wedding day with the potential "drama makers." Keep in mind your "I statements" from our previous blog. You want to show understanding, but at the same time let them know how important putting aside their differences for your happiness is to you. You might begin a conversation with, "I realize you and Aunt Gertrude don't always get along, but I do hope my wedding will be one filled with happiness, fun, and peace for the entire family." There is no blaming or negativity in that statement. It simply reflects your feelings and wishes.
Next, make sure to arrange the guest seating appropriately. Seat family members who get along well together. But don't put relatives who don't get along on the opposite side of the room if they will feel left out or not part of the family. You want to be respectful, while making them feel comfortable, as well. Also, appoint a wedding day "mediator" to act on your behalf if tensions start to rise. It's best to choose a non-family member or someone who is friendly with both sides. That will help eliminate the "you always side with them," argument and hopefully, keep you out of the mix.
Follow these steps to help reduce the potential for family feuds on your wedding day and then let it go. Ultimately, individuals are responsible for their own decisions and actions, so fretting about what might happen is futile. Enjoy your special day and let someone else worry about extinguishing any drama that might pop up.

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