Thursday, September 20, 2012

Responding vs. Reacting

When someone tells you something you'd rather not hear or gives you upsetting news, it's a good idea to take a step back and pause before you reply.   Taking a minute to collect your thoughts can mean the difference between maintaining your peace of mind or escalating an adverse situation. While it's good practice to train yourself to do this in all situations, it's definitely something you will want to do as you prepare for your wedding.   Between the wedding vendors, friends, or family members, someone is bound to tick you off.  When people are upset and angry about something, they tend to react to the situation rather than respond in a strong but civil manner.  These reactions trigger more negative reactions from the other party and people can end up in a full scale war of words.  Needless to say, in most cases this kind of escalation serves no purpose and nothing is accomplished.
Instead, if a friend makes a rude comment or a vendor doesn't follow through with your wedding request, think a moment about how you can respond in manner that shows how you feel but doesn't allow you to lose control.  Speaking what is on your mind fairly and confidently keeps you in control of the situation.  The other party can better hear what you are saying and is more likely to understand your needs.  It's not easy to get to this point and in some situations, you may need a day or two to collect your thoughts before you can respond.  If it works out right, you get what you want without losing your cool.  Now that's a confident bride!

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