Do's and Don'ts of Disagreements with Your Fiance or Spouse

When it comes to disagreeing with your significant other, take into account there is a good way and a less than ideal way to deal with it. Whether you're engaged, newlywed, or married for several years, there is an art form to communication. So if a disagreement or argument is brewing follow some of these do's and dont's:

Do Listen- Regardless of what your significant other is telling you, hear him out. Give him the time and respect to share his thoughts with you. Also make sure to actively listen. Don't just be figuring out how you're going to reply afterwards.

Don't Be Judgmental- Even if you disagree with your spouse, don't laugh his ideas off. If you think it's silly or even impossible, keep it to yourself. Your spouse is sharing his thoughts and feelings with you, so be considerate of that. Figure out what part of his ideas you can support and discuss that first.

Do Take a Breather- If an argument is looming and you simply can't keep it together, excuse yourself to think things over. Find a place where you can calm down. Good communication doesn't work if you're angry. Once you cool down and feel level headed enough to have a low key conversation, go back and share your thoughts.

Don't Forget Your Body Language- What your body does is sometimes more important than what you say. If you're rolling your eyes, crossing your arms, or otherwise indicating your disinterest or unhappiness, you are subtly telling your spouse you don't like what he's saying. Pay attention to your body language and make sure it matches your words.

Do Use "I" Statements- I can't stress enough how important it is to speak from an "I" perspective, as opposed to a "you" perspective. "I'm feeling like I'm being misunderstood" comes across more effectively than "You don't understand me." It stems from your feelings and doesn't come from a place of blame. So practice your "I" statements.  

Don't Get Yourself Down- Disagreements are part of every relationship. If this is your first one, it's okay. It doesn't mean your relationship isn't a good one. You both have different thoughts and ideas. The more you practice some of these communication skills the better you get at listening and expressing yourself. And that is a valuable tool for many years to come.

Are You a Clutter Free Bride? Take the Quiz.

Planning a wedding takes a lot of time, effort, and hard work. It also takes good organizational skills. If you're feeling disorganized, you might not be managing your time or workload effectively. You might also be adding more stress to your already busy life. Answer the following questions honestly to see if clutter is getting in your way:

1) Do you clean your living space regularly to a standard you're happy with?

2) Do you routinely throw out or give away stuff you know you don't need (e.g., junk mail, old clothes, etc.)?

3) Do you go through your mail and messages daily, responding or eliminating accordingly? This includes snail mail, email, and phone messages.

4) Would you describe yourself as neat and organized?

5) Is your wedding workspace organized and clutter free?

6) Do you feel calm and stress free when you are at home in your current surroundings?

7) Do you try not to worry about things you can't control?

8) Would you say you're usually calm and have peace of mind?  

Okay. So how did you do? If you answered in the affirmative for most of the questions, congratulations! You are most likely a clutter-free bride. You feel neat and organized, which gives you a better sense of control when it comes to planning your wedding. You're most likely on top of your wedding correspondence and moving right along with your to-do list. You also don't let negativity or feelings of guilt clutter your mind with unnecessary tension. This all spells for a confident and happy bride.

If you answered negatively for most of the questions, you might be feeling like a frazzled bride. Maybe your house is a mess, you can't seem to find important papers or remember vendor appointments. You're feeling overwhelmed because everything around you seems to be piling up with no end in sight. You don't like being at home because it reminds you of how behind you are with your to-do-list. You may also be feeling stressed out and anxious, continuously worrying about your wedding plans and maybe even life in general. If this is you, find someone to help you get organized and in control or hire a wedding planner to do it all for you. The key is to start de-cluttering your life somewhere. Remember: it's okay to ask for help!  

If your answers were mixed with both yes's and no's, then you might be feeling cluttered in some areas of your life and content in other. Being able to identify the areas you're not feeling as control in gives you the opportunity to focus on it and hopefully improve. Don't go through your inbox daily? Start by taking 5 minutes each morning to read, respond, and delete. You get it done and move on. Or maybe you're organized, but have trouble worrying about things you can't control. If that's you, start incorporating meditation or affirmations into your daily routine, to see if it helps with unnecessary anxiety. It's probably most common for brides to fit in this category. And that's great because you know exactly what you need to work on to be a clutter-free bride!