And Then There Were Three (or more)

A topic that often isn't discussed in wedding planning materials, is that of blended families.  Deciding to get married and spend a life with someone takes a great deal of love and time.  And while, you made the decision and feel ready for the next step, your children might not be.  Regardless of your children's age, it's important to sit down with them and discuss your decision to marry before announcing your engagement.  Talk to them in a manner appropriate for their age level and help them understand your decision and what it means to you.  Ask them if they have any questions or concerns.  Inform them that even though you will be spending time planning your wedding, they are your priority too and that you love them very much.  See how involved they may like to be in the wedding planning, if they are old enough.  Open communication is key and listening to what they have to say will help you navigate, what can sometimes be, a rocky road.

Adjusting to a new family life is challenging.  Be aware of any behavioral changes in your children, which can indicate they are having a harder time coping with your decision than you might have imagined.  Sleep disturbances, trouble at school, or a change in eating habits are some examples of what to be on the lookout for.  If you notice such changes, address it with your children and see if it does have to do with your recent engagement or if it's something else.  If you can't work out the problem behavior together, seek out someone who can help.  Remember that it may take a while for children to accept your decision to marry.  Continuing to show that you love them and respect their need for time will help them in the process.

Turning a New Leaf

The change of seasons is a good time for introspection.  What are you doing that can be done better? Are there relationships you can improve?  Can you use your time more effectively? Taking a moment to look inside and better yourself is a constant challenge, especially when you're preoccupied with so much to do.  But what better time to do it, then now, as you find yourself getting ready to begin a new stage in your life.

It's easy to say you'd like to start fresh, but turning a new leaf is no easy task.  It is best to start small.  Pick something you want to work on.  Make sure it is something that you truly feel compelled to change.  That will keep you motivated through the process.  Also ask yourself, is this goal realistic and achievable.  If it's not, than see if you can turn it into one.  You may not be able to repair broken relationships with a family members before your wedding day, but you may be able to find a way not to argue with them, for example.  When you follow through with your intended action, go ahead and pat yourself on your back.  Change is hard work.  The more you stick to it, the more likely you'll create the outcome you intend.  And a better you will be a great springboard into your marriage.  Happy Autumn!