Staying Positive

Now that you're engaged, you might find that with so much on your plate, there are days you feel low energy and zapped of your motivation. So what can you do to stay inspired and keep a positive mindset? One good practice is creating and reciting positive affirmations. Affirmations are short positive self-statements. Using these statements helps you focus on the things you want most while planning your wedding or on the big day itself.

Examples of affirmations for the bride include:

• I am a beautiful bride
• I feel calm and confident as I plan my wedding
• I am creating a memorable wedding with the resources I have
• My wedding day is as wonderful as I imagine it
• I surround myself with people who support my wedding day dreams

The affirmations you create are specific to your needs and situation. Simply write them in the positive and stated in the present tense. Reciting them daily keeps you focused on where you want your energy to be. It is not necessarily "convincing" yourself of something you are not; rather it is shifting your attention to the emotional or physical state you want to be in. Such self-statements reminds you to take the action you need to make your affirmation a reality. A note on affirmations: they work well if you are having a minor setback, but in general have good self-esteem and emotional health. If you struggle with esteem issues or suffer from depression or excessive anxiety, it's best to seek out professional help to ensure you're on the right path towards healing.

On Second Marriages

Marriage is as unique as the person you decide to wed. So whether this is your first marriage or the second time around, your wedding is meant to be meaningful and memorable just the same. If this is your second marriage, look inside to see how you and your life has changed. Your tastes may have shifted and your ideas for a wedding may be completely different from your previous marriage. Maybe you prefer something smaller or more spiritual, or perhaps you're considering a destination wedding. Whatever your thoughts, remember to get your groom's opinion, as well.

If this is your second wedding and your fiance's first, you may think he wants a big affair to remember. And while that is a possibility, it's just as plausible he would be happy with an intimate gathering of family and close friends. It's important not to try and "mind read" here. Some brides may feel compelled to go all out with a big wedding party since he hasn't experienced it in the past. They might feel he deserves it or should have this grand event that every bride dreams of, even if they don't care to have another fancy celebration. A good rule of thumb is not to assume you know what's best for your groom.

Talk to your fiance about your wedding plans. Tell him what you had in the past and what your thoughts are on your upcoming nuptials. Then see what his ideas are. Instead of asking if your fiance wants this or that, ask open ended questions. Ask him to describe his perfect wedding day or what his hopes and dreams are to make it memorable, happy, and fun. Then try and work together on creating a day you both will find special and unique to your union together.